My latest visit to Lynchburg, VA

As I spend a weekend in Lynchburg, Virginia at my friends Waldron & Georgia Scott’s house a few things come to mind, for starters, after Waldron’s fall this past April and his last stroke as well, and even though he has made a remarkable recovery, he is still somewhat limited in his mobility. Georgia is devoting her life to his wellbeing, in every possible aspect that she is able to, from changing him, bathing him, helping him get up from the bed and/or the sofa and get him onto the wheelchair, then rolling him from room to room. She was telling me that they had gone across the street to eat at a restaurant enjoying the warm weather, and as I helped take him for a ride down to same restaurant I could not but notice that at many times there are steep climbs and it is not easy getting back and forth to this place. My point here is that Waldron is extremely fortunate to have somebody at his side who is putting into full practice the “in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health” wedding vows that we commit ourselves to at the time of marriage. I guess when we say those words we don’t really think about those days and that they may eventually come.
The last time that I witnessed such dedication was between my parents. My mother had a heart condition for many years, and she spent the last seven and half months of her life in a hospital. In that period my father went almost every day regardless of the day of the week, season, weather, during Christmas, New Year, and her birthday even though by then she was unconscious.
What comes to mind are the words of Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians:
“3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
Georgia is not in great health either. But she is sacrificing everything for Waldron. She does everything with patience, tolerance, understanding, respect and primarily love.
I am proud and blessed that, not only can I call them my friends, but that they consider me a friend as well. Although the journey from New Jersey is not exactly a short one, I am extremely happy to come and visit them, as I feel that I get more from my visit than what I feel I can give them, and I have been fortunate enough to come a few times since they move from Paterson to Lynchburg.

Anniversary of my mother's passing

As I reflect on the past 12 months, and what we have lived I look at my roller-coaster emotions.  Twelve months ago right at this time I felt a sensation through my body, like if something had happened, I didn’t know what it was. A few hours later my father called me to tell me the news that my mother had passed away. He was very emotional, he had been containing his emotions for days, weeks, possibly months. Once he told me my mind processed it but my heart took a while do so. It was like it had not sunk in. I think at times that it has not sunk in, that she is still in the hospital.  

In the days and weeks before my mother’s passing I used to question my creator on why was he extending the inevitable, why was he making my mother and everybody around her suffer. What was the purpose of it. Those are the mysteries of life. I guess that when we are face to face with God we will have plenty of time to ask him about his ways, even though by then those questions will surely become irrelevant.

As I traveled to Argentina in 2012 I was convinced that I was prepared for what the future would bring. but once the time came I realized that I was not. I went through a long period of depression, of mourning, of loss.

The loss of a parent, or a close one, in my view, is like a heart attack, the heart keeps beating but part of it no longer functions.  We will never be the same. It is like the end of our childhood, the end of an era. Parents always think of their children as kids, even though they are married and have kids of their own.

I miss my conversations with my mother, I miss her support, her love. When my mother passed away not only did I lose my mother I lost a close friend.

I hear her voice, I feel her presence.

I cannot say that I long for the past, like my mother used to do, but I do understand her, at least a little bit more.

Ironically enough my father has been in the hospital since Sunday, and after four days of studies, to his displeasure, he has not told when he is going home. This has made the day of the first anniversary of her passing a “strange” one.

My sister, being in the front line, as she is, has had to do most of the heavy lift, first with my mother, her passing, the support my father needed at the time, and now with him in the hospital, even though it may be hopefully just temporary. His reliance on her is enormous in every way.

As far as the last 365 days it is hard to believe that we have gone round the sun once since the day my mother left us. We may not be able to see her but her spirit, her joy and love will always stay with us.

God bless you, Mum. We love you.