Friend

A little bit over 36 years we were starting our last year in high school, we were the seniors, just like we had been every year since 8th grade, as we were a new school and we were always the oldest. But this year different, we had lost some of our schoolmates, but we got two new ones, a girl who came from one of the best schools in town and a guy that had, in his words, had enough with the naval high school. It was too rigid for him, and he was ready for a different atmosphere. I eventually ended up falling for the girl, although nothing ever came out of the relationship.
On the other hand he seemed like a friendly guy but because he decided not to come with most of us to our graduation trip, so we never really had time to grow a deep relationship. He was a lot closer to another of our mates. Once we graduated I saw him again at our first reunion at one of our mates who was getting married the following year. Very shortly after I got a call from a common friend telling me that his older brother, just two years older than us, had passed away, and off we went to his brother’s wake.
We started dating each others’ wives around the same time, and together with a common friend we would go out the six of us. They came to our wedding and we were at theirs. Even with all this our relationship never seemed to be really deep. My father in law once said that in order for two couples to get along well the women need to get along well, if possible, be friends.
Then, my wife and I moved to the US. We saw them when they came to the area the following year, and although we only spent a couple of days together we had a nice time with them.
Then from 1986 through 1995 we did not see each other, my family’s visits to Buenos Aires were usually short, and we would spend most of the time with family, as part of my wife’s family was already living in the country, hours away from Buenos Aires.
In 1996 the school we had gone to was organizing a reunion, and we met again. But then after that there was a period of several years that we did not see each other.
Then one year I got his shop’s address and I went to see him. We spoke for a little while, talked about our personal lives, our struggles.
There was a spark that had just been sleeping. For some magic reason we starting communicating through messenger, over the phone, and our relationship starting building. I discovered what kind of a person he was, something that I had not noticed. I cannot blame it all on him, it was probably my fault as well. He showed me his true self, with his insecurities, his authenticity, his kindness, and our friendship blossomed. His heart is so full of love that everybody that he touches feels it. He also has a side that has pain, and possibly, to a certain degree, anger. A lot of it is to his parents, probably because, when he needed them, they were in such pain as he was, so they didn’t know what to do. It is very easy to be Monday morning quarterback, but many times we react in a strange way when tragedy hits us.
He told me once that the pain of the loose of his brother was just a strong as it was 35 years earlier when it happened. I could not believe it.
Talking to his parents once they admitted to me that they were in pain as well. The loose of a child is considered the most stressful event in a person’s life.
Although, as I said earlier in this blog, he was with us for the last year of high school, since we had our first reunion, and through the power of the internet and email, he has shared his love, his affection, his enthusiasm, with the rest of the classmates.
I tell him, whenever I have an opportunity, that I have received a lot more than what I have given him, I am thankful that he calls me his friend. I am proud to call him my friend, and even though he is still going through a bit of a bumpy road with his affections and his kids, he has a lot more to give than he realizes.
A few days ago I lost a friend to cancer, and although I am thankful that I was able to see him still alive, even though it was a heart braking to see him in the condition he was in because of his illness, my biggest regret is not having been able to tell him that, even though we had our many differences, I loved him, and valued him as a friend. So from now on I will not let the opportunities pass me by, so through this method I say, I love you brother.