Ian and his impact in our lives

As some of you may know, we have a son that has Autism.
Last year Kean University had a conference on the illness, and there were several auditoriums with different topics. I was invited to be a panelist on one of them. I found myself being the only member of the panel, which had two psychiatrists, and four parents, that had prepared an opening statement, in which I shared my view of what it is like to live with a child that is 15 years with a mental disability that we don’t know yet its cause, and therefore how to treat it. Doctors tend to treat all the effects of Autism, i.e.: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Epilepsy, and other things.
When I was finished reading my remarks I received an applause, which really moved me.
I said in my remarks that although I would love for my son to be “normal”, I could not imagine Ian being any other way. I would give my life for his normality, but I accept God for what he gives us.
Although many times there are lots of frustrations there are also many successes, many rewards, many things to be happy about.
I have learned to appreciate life for what he gives us. I say it is not the destination but the journey where happiness is. If we expect happiness as a destination we miss all the beauty that life gives us during the journey, with its sidetracks, its intersections.
And I think I have to come to understand through faith, knowing that my savior is always with me, helping me carry my cross.
I have also come to conclusion that God will take care of Ian. We can help him with tools to be able to survive, a profession that will help him make a living, wherever that may be. But at the end of the day it will be his creator, in his mercy, in his compassion, in his greater plan for him who will take care of him, who will determine what is Ian’s purpose in this world, just like he has for the rest of us.
As my wife attended the conference with me, although she was not a panelist member of the audience not only asked questions but were also involved in the q & a.
I also talked about the moment that my kids’ pediatrician told me that my son had a mild autism, and as I had never heard of the illness I looked it up on the internet, and how my life was devastated.
These were the same things we were hearing from members of the audience.
As we were driving back we were talking about the people that had attended the conference, and came to the conclusion that most of them were parents of kids that had been recently diagnosed, and we remembered having the same anxieties (not that they totally go away), their pain, their disappointment, their frustration. But as I told these parents at the conference, yesterday is gone, you cannot modify it, tomorrow will take care of itself, that it did not make any sense thinking about the days to come, nothing would change, so the thing that you have is the now, the present. To make the best of it, to enjoy every moment to the fullest, every success, because today will not repeat itself. A Spanish writer called Antonio Machado in one of his poems called “Proverbs and Songs” says: “Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more; wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking. By walking one makes the road, and upon glancing behind one sees the path that will never be trod again (my favorite part). Wanderer, there is no road, only wakes upon the sea”. Because I come from a spanish speaking country, I must admit that I find that passage to have a greater impact in the native tongue.
Coming back to Ian, and thinking about the road, as I look back he has been a great influence, a great blessing and a lesson in our lives.
We go through life desiring what we don’t have without appreciating what surrounds us. That is where God’s blessing is, in all the small and “trivial” things.